37 – Finding a Better Youfeatured

What has defined you in the past? As a child at school, it may have been what video games you played or clothes you wore. On a mission, it might have been where you grew up or how many baptisms you had. As we go through life we often come to identify ourselves by what we have accomplished, gathered, or even lost. “I am a baller”. “I am a millionaire”. “I am divorced”.

WHO WERE YOU BUILDING YOURSELF TO BE?

I recall an individual standing in a testimony meeting one day describing the path of faithful Church service they saw in their then-youthful children’s future.  This envisioned future was stated with confidence and the authority of a young parent.  The children did end up accomplishing what had been pronounced from the pulpit that day. But eventually, all ended up leaving the Church. That was a significant trial for my friend, and they struggled for a time. My friend has remained faithful to the Gospel but has had to learn to modify their expectations and amend some of the views they once had.

I have a good friend who served a mission, married in the temple and went on to build his family. He was living the life taught in the Church that would lead to happiness. Then his wife was diagnosed with a brain tumour and, after a rollercoaster of treatment, eventually graduated to the next world leaving him with 4 daughters under 16. Since that day he has experienced a lifetime of experiences he never anticipated. But he found his laugh again, and I admire the compassion in his demeanour since his experience. He has become deeper and more Christlike because of how he chose to handle the challenges he had.

I have known many others who have faced great adversity as a result of their choices, others’ choices or the “Petrie dish of life” (See Post 6 – Does God Want Me to be Happy?) and had to reconsider who they were building themselves to be. Some are more concerned about keeping a reputation intact or a status at work. Some are tired of trying to consolidate who they feel they are within the teachings of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. 

I do not condemn them for that, I simply point it out because you and I have options when life throws us curve balls. Do we fight to remain the “self” we envision, or do we let go and allow God to show us who we can become with His help? I am not talking about becoming “cookie-cutter Mormons”, I’m talking about choosing to let God show us our true, eternal selves.

WHO ARE YOU NOW?

If you are going through anything like I did, you are inclined to think you have permanently lost the reputation you once had in many people’s eyes. The way I see it, you can expend all your energy and emotion on trying to mend and repair what has been lost there, or you can leave that all behind and free yourself up to move forward focusing on what is now possible for you with the Lord’s help.

There is something liberating for many people when December rolls into January. The old year is done and gone, we can take stock, see where we’re at, and leave the experiences of 202_ behind in that growing “One time I…” file. The new year brings a reset.  With it comes new hope and opportunity. That is how I eventually came around to looking at my situation.

I have much to hold on to from the experiences I had previously. Aside from the painful lessons, I have participated in so many faith-promoting experiences, and I have learned from all the fun and challenging times. They are significant to my life thus far, but they are now reference points rather than tethers holding me back. I cannot live in the past and move forward. 

WHO DO YOU WANT TO BE?

Jesus taught; “For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel’s, the same shall save it.” Mark 8:35 There is no better time than now to take stock, let go, and then find who we truly are. I still have a way to go in my process, but I am so thankful to have the experiences I am having. It’s not that the process is ever really easy, but I am finding it very rewarding.

Some of my former relationships have willingly come along with me on this ride, while others have seemingly not survived – I pray some in particular will yet be restored, but that is not in my control. My constitution has been strengthened. My views on Church culture versus the doctrines of the Gospel of Jesus Christ have been refined and clarified. My testimony has been sharpened. Above all, my testimony puzzle piece on the nature and disposition of Jesus Christ is nearing a 4K resolution. See Post 13, “Testimonies Are Puzzling”.

HOW ABOUT BECOMING SOMEONE GOD CAN USE?

Becoming truer to our eternal nature includes opening ourselves up to experiences that may not have been anticipated but can help the Lord accomplish His purposes. Heavenly Father’s work and glory is to “bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man” Moses 1:39. As we lose our natural selves and become more of who we can become, we allow God to use us in ways that help Him help His children thereby refining us and making us more like Him.

As you begin to think more Celestial you put His works first. What is asked of you from time to time may feel easy or hard, fun or frightening. You may be asked to go through your own firey experiences. You may be pulled out of the fire like Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-nego, (Daniel 3) or you may give your life up in the fire like Abinadi (Mosiah 17). Both were valuable to the Lord, both have served God’s purposes. And both make us more Celestial.

In the Doctrine and Covenants section 76 we read about those who inherit the various Kingdoms of Glory. I have always been cognizant that those who just fall short of becoming Celestial in nature are those who “are not valiant in the testimony of Jesus” (vrs 79). It is not enough to simply have a testimony of Jesus Christ, His Atonement, His Church or His prophets, we must be valiant in it. It is not just staying for the second hour on Sunday, it is constantly seeking to do our part to improve ourselves and help others as God inspires. It is being reliable for The Lord.

Having lost our membership does not take us out of the eternity training program, it provides us the opportunity to stop, make a change, and then to be valiant in how we handle ourselves from this moment on! We can still be of use in the gathering of Israel – maybe even in new and expanded ways – as we show our loved ones and others how God can help us overcome sin and stand worthy again of ALL His blessings!

HOW IS GOD TRYING TO HELP YOU?

Another aspect of losing your old self and finding your eternal identity is recognizing that Jesus will help and bless you through individuals you may not expect or choose for yourself. As you pray for God’s help you must open yourself up to the unexpected sources of that help. He will use people who are open to His promptings. These may be anyone from the stake president who just took your membership to a stranger who knows nothing of the Church or Gospel of Jesus Christ or possibly even someone you’d normally avoid in the church corridor.

We must realize God is working with a perspective and knowledge we do not fully understand, and with people we may underestimate. We know that everything good comes from God. Moroni taught “Wherefore, I beseech of you, brethren, that ye should search diligently in the light of Christ that ye may know good from evil; and if ye will lay hold upon every good thing, and condemn it not, ye certainly will be a child of Christ.” (Moroni 7:19) Maybe part of losing our sinful self is allowing God to put people we do not expect into our lives to bless and help us discover our real potential.

I AM ACTUALLY THANKFUL FOR THIS PROCESS

I love what this experience has done for me. If serving a mission is a lifetime compressed to 18 or 24 months, then losing your Church membership is an opportunity for a doctorate in developing a relationship with Jesus Christ and His Atonement in the 12 + months you are working through that process.

Whether you and I chose to initiate this repentance process or were “caught” and had it forced on us, it is a blessing to be dealing with it today.  Jacob taught; “wo unto those who die in their sins; for they shall return to God, behold his face, and remain in their sins”. (2 Nephi 9:38) Personally, I would prefer doing whatever it takes to repent now. 

Putting aside the “natural man” – losing that person we thought we wanted to become and allowing God to help us realize our true and divine potential is worth the moulting process. 

MAKE IT PERSONAL!

In 2022 President Nelson posted a message about understanding our true identity on social media. He highlighted that our three primary identifiers should be 1) a Child of God, 2) a Child of the covenant and 3) a Disciple of Jesus Christ. He went on to say “Make no mistake about it: Your potential is divine. With your diligent seeking, God will give you glimpses of who you may become.”  Church Newsroom 21 July, 2022

By letting go of thoughts and actions that are unbecoming of those three identifiers, you and I can much more fully feel the love our Heavenly Father feels for us. We are still His precious children.  We are children of the covenant – even if these blessings are currently ‘on hold’ – and we can still choose to be disciples of Christ today.  Those identifiers surpass anything we may have done.  We can become valuable in His work and glory by how we handle today.

It is an eternally rewarding gift of the Atonement of Jesus Christ to grow into the woman or man Heavenly Father is waiting to help us become – It is still our birthright!

*What are your thoughts about the changes you see in yourself as you let God turn you into someone you didn’t realize you could be? Please comment below – and follow me on Instagram at onesheep.blog to help me find others who have lost their membership!