5 – The Big Yellow School Busfeatured

THE BIG YELLOW SCHOOL BUS EXPERIENCE

I grew up riding the big yellow school bus. Day after day, week after week, month after month, semester after semester and year after year.  You get the point. For those lucky enough to have this experience, it can be as significant in your formative school years as the friends you hang out with, your family time and even the schooling itself.

My route was a little over 30 minutes each way, winding through acreages and in and out of farmyards the bus would gather a variety of personalities that would influence my daily attitude and often affect my self-esteem one way or another. It seemed for many of us there was nothing in common beyond being fellow human beings just looking to get to school because our parents could not drive us.

I learned how to interact with people – and how to avoid them. Whether I was trying to get a friend to let me listen to his new Walkman or stay under the radar so the bus bully wouldn’t take notice of me. I certainly tried to not bump into others in order to avoid awkward moments I did not want to have.

Seating on the bus reflected status, and one avoided sitting where a more senior student had claimed. Whether out of respect or fear, it was just what the bus culture dictated.

My bus had students ranging from first grade through twelfth, and that naturally created a variety of microclimates. Some were happy, some seemed angry and some were more subdued. Some were loud, while others were much quieter. Occasionally something would happen that would draw everyone’s attention for a time before things would settle back into the regular drone.

The driver, just as any other on the bus with more status than you, also had the potential to make or break your bus experience. Sometimes they were in good moods and sometimes not. I had one driver who always wore oversized mirrored sunglasses, thinking we could not see if she was watching. Regularly she would look up in that extra wide rear-view mirror and turn her head to the left when she was looking right – and vice versa – a move that fooled no one. Some drivers were very strict while others were clearly more relaxed.

Sometimes the bus was fun. If my friend was on that day, consequently I felt a sense of belonging, while other times I had no such connection and could feel very out of place. Sometimes I was engaged, sometimes I was lost in homework, and sometimes I would sit with my head against the cool glass watching the powerlines dip between the poles to the beat of whatever song was going through my head. When it was good, I was happy to be there, when it was not, I dreaded it.

But the bus was my only way to school, and I needed to be there to prepare for my future, so I got on again and again and again.

THE OTHER BIG BUS

It has helped me through this repentance process to look at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as the big yellow school bus. 

The Church is full of people from all walks of life – personalities that often have little more in common than a divine heritage as brothers and sisters in Christ. We have different backgrounds and bank accounts. There are extroverts and introverts. Some have strong family ties back to Joseph Smith and others have strained family ties because they believe Joseph Smith’s teachings and have chosen to be baptized.

The parallels have helped me realize the value of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in my life and helped me cope with what is often called “Church culture”. So-called “Church culture” can be so hurtful and even damaging for those who don’t have the “status” to sit in the back row of the bus, or maybe even get to “drive” the Ward or one of its organizations for a time. 

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints presents the opportunity for us to bump into each other while helping us learn Christlike principles. Moroni taught “And the church did meet together oft, to fast and to pray, and to speak one with another concerning the welfare of their souls. And the church did meet together oft to partake of bread and wine, in remembrance of the Lord Jesus” Moroni 6:5-6 Attending church has a divine purpose. Being assigned to a specific ward or branch, and serving in callings that force interaction, create such personal and powerful opportunities to grow in character and testimony. 

In her talk “Ward and Branch Families: Heavenly Fathers Plan for Us” Sister Virginia H. Pearce said: 

“Heavenly Father expects us to participate in our wards. It is part of the plan. But, Sister Pearce, you may be saying, you have such an idealistic picture of a ward—that’s not like my ward!

You mean, your ward has real people in it—ones who are sometimes selfish or self-righteous, unskilled or undependable? I’m so glad! How could it be a real laboratory for practicing gospel principles like patience, long-suffering, charity, and forgiveness if there were no people or situations that would require the use of these principles? The miracle of it all is that we are real people put into an ingenious structure, designed by God, to help us become like him.”

-General Conference Oct 1993

We may have to sit near someone we do not feel compatible with on the bus. We can stick to ourselves and have as minimal interaction as possible, or make efforts to interact and grow through the experience. In the Church, we may be assigned to serve with someone we don’t feel compatible with. We can stick with as minimal interaction as possible, or we can make efforts to engage, and grow through the experience. It may take prayerful effort to make it work, but that is part of the plan and the growth.

On the bus you sometimes feel like you know who everyone is, you feel connected, as though these are your people, and you belong there, while other times you may feel very alone. In the Church we can likewise feel very connected to our congregation – or not. 

COPING WITH THE DIFFERENCES

With the range of ages on my bus, there were some learning addition and subtraction while others were doing university-level trigonometry. Some were learning basic reading while others were looking between the words to identify patterns and messaging that the writer is hiding in their work. Similarly, at church, there are some just learning the scripture stories while others have practiced long enough to be learning the messaging between the lines through the Spirit’s guidance. Some are learning what forgiving is while others have had much experience being forgiven and, in the process, become quite adept at forgiving. We may be at an advanced placement level with tithing, but at a third-grade ability when it comes to judging others.

Remember this, how others treat you says much more about themselves than it does about you. To thrive and not just survive, you need to learn to see yourself through God’s eyes, not theirs.

Sometimes Church is fun, and we look forward to going – other times it may be so very hard to have the desire. But it is going where we most likely want to go. Let’s be honest here, the gospel is not what everyone is going to want, and that’s ok. President Nelson said to the Young Single Adults in a Worldwide Broadcast; “If friends and family should step away from the Church, continue to love them. It is not for you to judge another’s choice any more than you deserve to be criticized for staying faithful.”               

                                                                                                            *Choices for Eternity May 2022

Faithful doesn’t mean perfect or sinless, it means that day after day they keep striving to do the right thing after making mistakes and feeling disappointed. It means getting back on the bus when it is not easy.

STAYING ON OR STEPPING OFF?

Some choose to step off the bus loudly while others simply slip away. How those still on the bus look out the window at them matters, no matter which way they leave. Some feel validated in leaving by the un-Christlike treatment they get. In contrast, others remain somewhat connected and are blessed through continuing relationships with those who still care no matter their choices. These relationships also matter to the individual on the bus. Although still there, how they treat others both on and off, reflects their grasp of various Christlike principles. 

The Church is not the only way to find some sort of meaning in life, but it is the only way to find THE meaning of life.

The Church is not the only way to have fun and valuable experiences with your family, but it is the only way to have that family with you eternally through the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the Priesthood ordinances found only in the temples of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

I have been kicked off the bus for a time. But I am amazed as it feels like I am now getting my rides from The Principal until I can get back on. I hope you do too!

*Does this analogy help? Please comment below – and follow me on Instagram at onesheep.blog to help me find others who have lost their membership!