Real Stories – “D D S”featured

What is your name?

D D S

1. How old were you when you lost your membership?

17

2. How long were you out of the Church, and how long have you been back?

Out for 19 years

3. What were your feelings in the days after losing your membership?

Anger. Hate for the church. Free at last. No guilt.

4. How did losing your membership affect your relationships with your family and friends?

I was on my own. So I didn’t see them much. I was the black sheep is what I felt. But that changed over time.

5. What was your relationship with Church leadership like during the time your membership was withdrawn?

Had no relationship with leadership. Had one member that offered me a job for a summer. He ended up being master of ceremonies at my wedding.

6. As you went through this, what was your relationship with the Godhead like?

Had none. I felt abandoned.

7. What were some of the hardest things for you as you went through a loss of membership in the Church?

It was understanding why other girls were doing the same thing I was, even getting pregnant, and they were not kicked out. But I was.

8. What experiences do you appreciate and maybe even treasure from your experience?

Hmm, all of it. I would not have met my husband had I stayed in the church. And now I have a worthy priesthood holder.

9. What went into your decision to get re-baptized?

My husband wanted to be baptized. So I had to make a serious decision do I follow him or not. I chose to follow.

10. What callings have you had since being re-baptized?

Primary Pres. Young women’s leader. Camp adviser. Relief society counsellor. Librarian. Ministering sister.

11. How long after getting rebaptized were your priesthood and/or temple blessings restored?

I had never been to the temple. So we just had to wait the year to get sealed

12. What do you think is misunderstood by others about this process of losing your membership?

That you are kicked out. And that you too have the privilege of repentance. That they shun you. As in my sons case right now.

13. What advice do you have for people who are going through a loss of membership in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?

Be strong. Don’t let the holier than thou members dictate how you should feel or act. There are so many hypocrites.

14. What advice do you have for people wanting to minister to or help someone who has lost their Church membership?

DO NOT MAKE THEM A PROJECT!!!!! Be sincere.!!!! Love them where they are.

15. Please share anything else you would like to about your experience. 

It was a scary time. Not having the spirit. Being alone was hard sometimes. Going through abuse by a member of the bishopric being abused by a farm hand and physically abused by my father was a big part of me not trusting anyone. And ultimately kind of wanting to leave the church.

• D D S, thank you so much for sharing a part of your story. I appreciate you digging back into those very painful memories to help those of us still in the middle of it find some connection and hope through your example!

** If you are reading this and have also accomplished this heroic task of returning to be re-baptized after having your membership taken away, we would love to hear your story! Please click on this link to find the questionnaire: https://forms.gle/5hKAxjJ5Lkhj1w5U7