Real Stories – “R.B.”featured

What is your name? (pseudonyms are acceptable)

R.B.

1. How old were you when you lost your membership?

32

2. How long were you out of the Church, and how long have you been back?

18 months, 6+ years

3. What were your feelings in the days after losing your membership?

Oh man, thought my life was over. I just remember trying to take it one day at a time. Luckily I had a supportive spouse, therapy/addiction group, family support.

4. How did losing your membership affect your relationships with your family and friends?

It strengthened my relationship with those who know the story and my family was definitely disappointed, but I never felt once they didn’t love me.

5. What was your relationship with Church leadership like during the time your membership was withdrawn?

I actually had a calling still. It was informal. I was the program coordinator, moving coordinator (a lot of move ins and move outs), and social media poster. Lots of ways to stay involved. My bishop was my neighbor 3 houses down and was a man I grew to love. I was angry at him at first because he called me an addict, but I really was an addict.

6. As you went through this, what was your relationship with the Godhead like?

Oh man, I have never felt so close to god in my life as the day I was restored my blessings back into the church. When my membership was suspended, I had a really hard time not participating in meetings. I learned to study and develop spiritual habits just like I did in my mission. My bishop challenged me to read the Book of Mormon again and I think that was key in me developing the incredible understanding, love and appreciation for the atonement of Jesus Christ.

7. What were some of the hardest things for you as you went through a loss of membership in the Church?

Some of the hardest things were watching my wife struggle with my challenges. I never relapsed after confession, but I had to watch her heal and that was hard to watch. I’m grateful for her doing that. Other things that were hard were the shame I felt when people would call me to do things. I had friends call to have me do a blessing, or say a prayer in class, and I would often leave class early to avoid randomly getting called on to say the prayer.

8. What experiences do you appreciate and maybe even treasure from your experience?

I treasure the relationship I have with my savior. I have a few friends who have left the church and they ask me why I stay and I can fervently say that without the church, I would not have this testimony of Jesus Christ. He is real, his Atonement is so powerful and heals all.

9. What went into your decision to get re-baptized?

I wanted to get back on track. Both my dad and my uncle were excommunicated. My dad took a different path and my uncle chose to be rebaptized and return back. Their lives are completely different and they are happier in their own ways. I want to be more like my uncle’s comeback story than my dad’s. I also had kids who were 6,4 at the time. I wanted to baptize them. Personally, I wanted to be back in the church and it was supposed to be a year. It ended up being 18 months and it was the right timing to allow my wife to properly heal as well.

10. What callings have you had since being re-baptized?

Young men’s, Sunday school president, primary, nursery, elder’s quorum secretary

11. How long after getting rebaptized were your priesthood and/or temple blessings restored?

Immediately.

12. What do you think is misunderstood by others about this process of losing your membership?

That it’s all doom and gloom. There are definitely dark days, but your bishop and stake president will become some of your best friends through the process. One of the high councilmen that was in my council I consider to be a great friend. I see him at the gym all the time and others that were there I have been able to build strong relationships with. The church isn’t there to punish you, they are there to help you recover and repent properly.

13. What advice do you have for people who are going through a loss of membership in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?

Take it one day at a time. Don’t think about the end. Try to progress each day and become better

14. What advice do you have for people wanting to minister to or help someone who has lost their Church membership?

Don’t ask questions you don’t want answers to. For me, I’ll tell anyone my story if there is trust there. However, if you ask questions that you aren’t ready to handle, you might not like what you hear. Don’t judge them, just love them. They sin differently than you do and unfortunately, this as a big one. They are already hard on themselves, they just need love

15. Please share anything else you would like to about your experience. 

The gospel of Jesus Christ is true. I’ve tested it through this experience and will be forever grateful for it.

• Thank you so much for sharing your story R.B.! I’m impressed with the support you had, especially that your bishop found ways to have you continue to serve – and that you did it!

** If you are reading this and have also accomplished this heroic task of returning to be re-baptized after having your membership taken away, we would love to hear your story! Please click on this link to find the questionnaire: https://forms.gle/5hKAxjJ5Lkhj1w5U7