16 – It’s OK to be Happy!featured

Over a year into this adventure, I had a messaging conversation with a friend from the past. This was someone who had heard something about me through what they called, an “unexpected source”. They were confused that they had heard stories of what was going on in my life, yet here I was positive, and telling them how my testimony was stronger than ever. This was confusing to my friend and it felt to them that I was “hiding stuff” – that my comments did not feel authentic or real. I had not previously, or even in that current conversation, said anything to them that portrayed any prior struggle I may have had. So, they had no idea what I had been through to get where I was.

Shortly after that conversation, I was having one of the steak dinners mentioned in the “Building an Effective Support Network” post. It came up at that dinner that some members of the Church were wondering how I could be happy and how I could choose to still attend church each week. 

The more I considered these comments in comparison to the message of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, the more difficulty I had in reconciling them and the more perplexing they became. It was not that I was surprised people would say that, but… I was still surprised active members would say that.

Have you run into this? If so, how do you manage it?

THE HUMMINGBIRD PRINCIPLE

As I sit writing this on our deck I am watching hummingbirds fly up to drink from the feeder we have hanging here. As soon as one gets near, there is another hummingbird who flies in and chases them away. That hummingbird did not provide the food, but somehow thinks they have a say in who gets to eat. That analogy is not lost on me.

The first emotions and thoughts I experienced in hearing about others not wanting me to be happy were to get defensive and even a little angry. It feels like I am being chased away from the feeder by others who did not set out the feast. Why do active members make someone feel like they should not be happy? Do they feel repentance is for them but not me? If I were to speak up and start defending myself, would a compelling argument change their minds? I know deep inside it won’t, so I stay quiet.

DOES GOD HAVE YOUR ATTENTION YET?

Alma took time with his son Helaman to talk about his repentance and share the story of his conversion.  At the time, he had been going around with the Sons of Mosiah trying to destroy the Church. That was until an angel visited them and instructed them that they needed to change in order to avoid being destroyed themselves.

I have not had an angel visit me, and I suspect you have not either, but in another very abrupt way, we have been instructed to change our ways and focus more on the covenant path. 

Alma described his feelings like this:

“But I was racked with eternal torment, for my soul was harrowed up to the greatest degree and racked with all my sins. Yea, I did remember all my sins and iniquities, for which I was tormented with the pains of hell; yea, I saw that I had rebelled against my God, and that I had not kept his holy commandments.“                                                   

-Alma 36:12-13

Perhaps you felt as Alma did right after your sin. Perhaps it was as you first met with your bishop or stake president. Perhaps it was as you walked out of the chapel following your membership council. Or perhaps you have not yet felt the seriousness of your circumstance – but I suspect you have somewhat as you are reading a blog on the subject.

THE UGLY PART

I have lost a lot. I have regrets about how I handled a part of my life. I have people I think of as family who don’t seem to want to consider me family anymore, and I am deeply sorry for how I have hurt them. I do not feel happiness or joy about the status of those relationships. I pray for each of those whom I have hurt to have peace and happiness in their lives. I know I am not alone in carrying burdens like this.

Paul taught the Romans: “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God”.  -Romans 3:23 Every person walking the earth, especially those who have made covenants with God, have things to repent of.  Some sins are bigger than others, but every one of them holds every one of us back to one degree or another. We all need help to put our mistakes behind us and walk away from the guilt, pain and anxiety that rebelliousness fosters. The reward is that as we move past our sins we catapult forward in our testimony, resilience, and gratitude!

HOPE! 

The Gospel of Jesus Christ is a message of hope and overcoming. The word gospel in Greek is defined as “good news”. It is about repentance and joy. And the Gospel of Jesus Christ is for everyone including me. Whether others want me to be happy or not,

Alma’s experience provides you and me – and everyone – hope! Whether we need to repent of a major sin or make a slight change in our current path in order to return to the Gospel, there is a way! Alma, at his lowest moment, remembered what his father had taught him previously about our Lord, Jesus Christ. Not just that Jesus existed, but what He existed for. So he turned to Jesus for help and found it

Alma told Helaman “Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy.”     – Alma 36:21                     

Many people followed Jesus in the New Testament times because he would provide food, or perform some pretty stellar miracles. As astounding as those acts would have been in a day without fast food restaurants or hospitals with our modern medicine, those are not why He came. Jesus came so that you and I, in this most overwhelming and crushing time in our lives, could turn our lives around and move forward. He came so that, despite how Satan or others want us to feel – even to chase us away like a Hummingbird from the feeder – we can feel hope. And we can feel peace. And we can even feel happy again!

THANKS ALMA!

I am grateful for Almas’s willingness to share his experience so I can see a more clear direction for myself. You may have likewise lost aspects of your life that you hope can one day be resolved. 

As I experience all I am going through, my love and appreciation for loving Heavenly Parents continues to grow. Life is hard and it gets ugly and messy sometimes. I am grateful that They have given us their son Jesus Christ and the gift of His Atonement along with the lessons we see from His life.

IF HE IS GIVING IT, WE SHOULD BE ACCEPTING IT

Whether other people understand how you and I can feel happy while working through the repentance process is not really our concern. It’s just yellow school bus stuff. Do your best to be kind to everyone and overcome the negativity. And above all, allow yourself to feel our Heavenly Parents’ feelings for every one of us. 

How grateful I am for Jesus Christ and that His Atonement is a very real part of my life. I hope you are letting it do its part in your life as well. Do not let anyone take from you the peace, happiness and joy the Savior offers you. Be happy when you feel happy!