Real Stories – A New Feature!featured

I have always respected converts to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. My parents are two of them. Some converts may be raised without religion, some from other world religions, and many come from other Christian denominations that don’t consider us Christian. They often lose friendships and their family interactions become strained simply because they got baptized.

As members of the Church, we are well-trained to seek after these people. Missionary work is spoken of regularly and everyone is taught to look for opportunities to open their mouths and share the Gospel. 1 Peter 3:15 counsels us to “be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you”. There are manuals, most significantly Preach My Gospel, and meetings dedicated to creating and retaining converts.

I now have another group I also respect – and they amaze me even more.

These are those who lose their membership in the Church and then make it back into the waters of baptism. These people have repented of their sins and worked their way back into full Church activity and the restoration of temple blessings – sometimes while active members were unforgiving or unwelcoming.

I am not aware of any training specifically for leadership or members on ministering to those who lose their membership beyond a short 5 paragraphs in the official Church’s General Handbook. When members lose their membership they often feel they have lost life as they knew it. They lose friends and support that was so familiar and foundational. If support does not come from leaders and members, support will be offered by others who can lead one away from the Church.

While converts rightfully gain a ward or branch of welcoming new friends, those who lose their membership often feel the loss of precisely those people.  They then must determine who to turn to now to replace that community in their lives. Some, like myself, are blessed to have many Christlike people step into that void and show support for them regardless of their sins, but that is not always the case.

In the Deseret News of April 3, 2004 there is an article about Hyrum Smith and his excommunication from the Church. After referring to his repentance process as “walking into the meat grinder” it says “He believes the two most welcome groups in the church “are the righteous ones and the liars. If you screw up… you get chewed up by the culture.”” Hyrum goes on to claim that “97 out of 100 people who are excommunicated don’t come back”. Having experienced what I have, I have no problem believing those numbers.

This is why I now have such huge respect for the women and men who do make it back to the waters of baptism. I have often wondered about how these individuals have navigated their way back into the church. Such questions as: 

How do they find that strength to go back to worship alongside those who shunned them or when there may be some measure of embarrassment or shame with members of their former congregation?

What motivates their decision to keep going back to church each week?

What advice would they have for me as I work through this?

What suggestions would they have for members who want to be Christlike in ministering to those who have lost their membership in the Church?

This is such a hugely transformative and pivotal life event for anyone who experiences it. Some of whom are very likely in our midst that we may not even be aware of. It is because there is so little information and understanding about the process and experiences of those who lose their membership in the Church that we are adding a new feature to this blog called “Real Stories”. I am inviting individuals who have lost their membership and made it back to be rebaptized (and the restoration of their temple blessings) to share their experience and wisdom so others can learn and be inspired. 

If you have walked this path and have one of these stories to tell, please click the link: at https://forms.gle/5hKAxjJ5Lkhj1w5U7

If you know someone who has accomplished this uncommon feat, please send them the link.

We don’t want to know the sin – that is only between you and the Lord – and we don’t even need to know your real name. We want to know what the process was like for you, and how you did it.

You are one of my heroes, and I want to learn from you!

I want to acknowledge and thank Richie T. Steadman of The Cultural Hall for his motivation through all of this – and for helping me find others who can share how they found the strength to make it through this! He has survived the “meat grinder”!