42 – Look – A Squirrel!featured

In this post, I will address how I have been learning to avoid distractions that distract from my growth.

Recently I sat in a Stake Conference and heard a talk given by a single mother. She spoke of her emotional and spiritual struggles as a single mother in the Church.  She shared how focusing on the covenants she has made helped her stay close to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ through all the trials. It was a fantastic talk that I am sure resonated with all single parents in attendance, and yet, there was also material there that could lead anyone, regardless of circumstance, to be edified and inspired.

I learned from her, and she inspired me, yet I was somewhat distracted as she spoke. You see, I was her bishop when her hopes and expectations for married life collapsed and then shattered in ways she had never imagined – nor could I have. I knew several of the members of this sister’s immediate family. I knew her ex-husband and her former in-laws. I knew things no one else in that meeting knew.

When I got home, I could not shake a comparison I saw between what I knew of her story and what I see in the Church-centred podcasts I listen to.

PEOPLE ARE SMARTER THAN ME – (LET’S FACE IT, THERE ARE LOTS)

I listen to the “Come Follow Me” podcasts and other material related to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints each day as I work. These are people much more educated than me who are heavily immersed in the scriptures with the related history and cultures of the day. I learn much from listening about the historicity of names, cities, traditions and backgrounds in these scriptural stories. I have noticed there are even times when the presenters stretch what is known into further ideas which they feel are most likely extensions of what is written. Every possible detail – or educated guess – that can be uncovered and shared, is uncovered and shared.

As I reflected on what I knew of this good sister’s past, I thought of how I could give people a good podcast background into the world in which she had been living – I would NEVER do that – but I could. I knew about where she lived, the culture of her ward, something about those whom she interacted with and similar contextual details. Much like the “Come Follow Me” podcasters who know and sometimes speculate about details when they dive into their subjects. Certainly, by knowing those things I felt a deeper connection to her as she shared her well-prepared message at the conference. But did I need to?

HELPING OR HURTING?

Perhaps if others knew what I knew, they would feel more of that connection and be even more impressed with the speaker. I certainly am impressed by her.

But…

What if my knowing those things, and focusing on those details – true as they may be – were distracting me more than helping me? Yes, the things I knew are true. Yes, they relate to the story she was sharing. But what I knew was not necessary for myself – or others – to receive personal inspiration from the Spirit relating to our own lives. What she chose to share was sufficient to teach principles and doctrines, and to provide an opportunity for the Spirit to touch and teach me. From there it was my responsibility to receive inspiration.

A greater volume of information on the backstory can sometimes allow the listener to connect more with the individual speaking, and yet, those details can become beguiling.

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN THIS HAPPENS?

Here is how I see this concept relates to you and me as we work to get re-baptized.

There was a connection my friend was able to make with those at the stake conference because of her experiences. It drew people’s attention because of her situation and her vulnerability in sharing a portion of it. From that point, it is our choice to:

1. Focus more on the details, trying to uncover or “fill in” the backstory; whether to understand, judge, relate to, or in my case, recall faces, places and details. 

OR

• Focus more on what the Spirit is teaching us about our own lives. Maybe there is guidance on the next thing we need to change. Maybe something we hear can inspire us to better minister to someone we know. Maybe something clicks and provides us with an answer to a question we came to the stake conference with. Maybe we will find peace. ANYTHING that relates to our struggles and growth is open for revelation from God.

At the time this sister was speaking, I was distracted from the Spirit BECAUSE I knew so much of the backstory. I had encountered a proverbial “Squirrel” that distracted me from the greater good. Even more recently my wife spoke in Sacrament meeting and again, as she shared a few personal trials she has overcome, I was tempted to think more of the details of her trials than listening for the Spirits whisper.

The things that distract us at church can be more than over-focusing on details in talks.

SOME OF OUR SQUIRRELS

You and I, as excommunicated daughters and sons of God, have so many squirrels that can distract us from Heavenly guidance, comfort, and support. Pain or shame comes to mind first. We can sit in Church on Sunday focused on who is giving us the side eye – or flat-out avoiding us. We may notice talks or lessons that speak of the Savior teaching forgiveness yet feel His words are being used against us and we become inclined to shut our attention down, even when a relationship with Jesus Christ is the topic of the talk or lesson. 

We can become judgemental about others. Perhaps we look for hypocrisy – it’s so easy to find (especially in ourselves as we look for it in others). We can find these things when we choose to focus on others to justify our hurt. These are squirrels.

I am embarrassed to admit that I have even found myself looking for ways that words and stories in General Conference talks do not match examples or teachings of Jesus Christ in the scriptures. A VERY dangerous game to play that can damage my relationship with the Savior.

Have you been caught up in any of these things as well?

MAKING EXPERIENCES VALUABLE

There is always the chance that a well-intentioned story or deep dive into contextual details can prove distracting. That does not need to be the case, however, if how you choose to live your life and make your decisions is based on seeking personal spiritual experiences. What if you listened to that sister’s talk with a focus on listening for promptings from the Spirit more than wondering about unspoken details – then you felt a thought or impression come to mind? When you follow through on that impression, and you see a positive outcome; you have now used her talk to receive your own personal revelation!

In a similar approach, if you read Isaiah more focused on promptings and impressions from the Spirit than having an exact understanding of every word, what you receive will be of greater value to you than the words themselves – but only if you heed those personal revelations.

I have even found that those difficult moments where we feel shunned or condemned can be turned into growth. As I try to understand why they might have treated me that way I have been taught things like:

• This individual was truly hurt by my actions.

• This individual has not yet had the chance to experience what I am experiencing.

• Heavenly Father loves me and will heal and protect my heart when I let Him.

TOUCHSTONES

In all of this, it is important to not be swayed by the wrong Spirit. Picking things out of a talk to justify sin or anger is not being led by the Spirit of God. If someone shuns us at church there is a chance we will be carried away in thoughts of hurt, anger and frankly, our own negative judgement of them. Allowing the spirit of the devil to spend time in our heads or hearts will do nothing for our own peace of mind, and it will become a squirrel that will block communication with our Heavenly Father.

In doing this, we must remember Moroni’s council that Gods language is “anything that inviteth and enticeth to do good, and to love God and to serve him.” Moroni 7:13 Anything else is counterfeit.

YOU CAN STILL GET THE HEAVENLY HELP!

Such revelation will come even if we are excommunicated! See post 9 – “Recalibrating With the Spirit”. God still loves you and me as much as anyone else on this planet – no more, and no less. (though sometimes it can feel like more) The Holy Spirit will still convey to us love, guidance and understanding! It is our responsibility to seek out the Spirit and personal revelation vigilantly.  In so doing, it is crucial not to become distracted by squirrels that would have us feel or think we are less or more than anyone else. We must keep a perspective on what is truly important versus padding, or even fluff.  What truly matters is what the Lord is telling us about Himself, the Savior, His Gospel, and especially ourselves.  We need to guard and protect our access to the Spirit and our channel to those heavenly messages and not let those become cluttered with that which is interesting, sensational, exciting – or depressing and shunning – but ultimately beguiling.

I am not saying we should not study and learn the details in the scriptures and Church talks. There is great help and wisdom in them for each of us. The volume and variety of stories provide something for everyone. But the greater value is allowing them to open our hearts and minds to the Spirit of personal revelation. We need to be aware, and not get distracted by the squirrels. 

With time and practice, we can find value in memorizing who said what in the scriptures, or how Jesus’ sandals would have handled the terrain in the Kidron Valley in our favorite podcast. We can find excitement in the details, and those details can even launch us to further personal revelation through the Spirit. But I suggest to you that for now, as you and I are looking to rebuild, we listen to every Church talk, read every scripture and listen to every podcast as a launch point; with the focus on “What does God want me to learn from this that will help me today” and then seek, expect and follow the promptings that will lead you closer to Christ. 

Getting distracted is easy, especially with the tender emotions that excommunication creates, but we can learn to focus on personal revelation. I still wonder today, what revelation did I miss during my friend’s talk as I patted myself on the back for knowing unshared details about her life rather than seeking what Heavenly Father wanted me to know about my own?