46 – ‘Faith Crisis’ is a Misnomerfeatured

by sheeptales on June 2, 2025

Posted in Blog

I recently gave my first talk after being rebaptized. The assigned topic was Faith, and I shared with my new ward my excommunication experience, and how if my faith was in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I would not likely have made it back to the pulpit.

I am sharing it here with you in the hope that it may help you as you work through your repentance – or any challenge with living the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

THE TALK

This is my first time at the pulpit in 5 years. The last time was as a Young Single Adult bishop. It was my third time being a bishop. I mention this only to enforce the dramatic changes my life has gone through. You see, I was excommunicated at that point, and for a bishop, the policy calls for a minimum 5-year waiting period.

It happened just as Covid set in, and a divorce followed. It was a tender mercy to stay home and watch Church on the computer for the first bit, but then I had to walk back into the chapel. Because of my past callings, I was somewhat known throughout the Stake, and with Church culture what it sometimes is, the rumors were flying.

I listened to the first three, and none were accurate. I began trying to figure out the sources and found myself spiralling because of it. I now strive more than ever not to gossip about anyone, including myself.

But still, it hurt. I was told that people were wondering why I would even show up at church, and how I could be happy. Being the kind of guy I am, that motivated me to keep them wondering.

I had others suggesting that now that I was no longer under the covenant, I could go do anything I wanted. One of my young single adults was working for me at the time and was encouraging me to go sample the world – because “he would”.

What would you do?

I reflected on the experiences I had as a bishop. I knew the love the Lord felt towards people sitting on the other side of the desk. People who were feeling sorrow, despair and hopelessness. I chose to believe that He felt the same way towards me – no matter how others treated me.

HOPE, BELIEF AND FAITH

I used to spend time trying to teach the young single adults the difference between hope, belief and faith. I love the example of the light switch. We could sit in a darkening room hoping it would brighten, but hope only created a desire, not results. We believed that if the switch were turned on, there would be light, but sitting in the chair with hope and belief did nothing to solve the problem.

Getting the light on requires action, and action is faith. Faith is getting out of the chair, walking across the room and flipping the switch. Hope and belief don’t get the light turned on, but they do motivate the effort, or in other words, the faith.

If everything is in order, the faith is rewarded with light. But if the bulb was burned out, the switch had failed, the power bill was not paid, or a squirrel got into the attic and chewed through a wire, there would be no light.

WHAT/WHO ARE WE PUTTING OUR FAITH IN?

Putting our faith in humans is a whole other aspect.

If we have faith that Grandma will show us love when we visit her, most of us will never be disappointed when putting our faith in her. Most of us will feel it was worth the effort.

If we have faith that working extra hours will inspire our boss to give us the time we want off this summer, we may or may not get what we want, but we accept that our faith in someone else is not always going to “go our way”. Others have agency, and we cannot take that away – even with the most righteous intentions or sincerest of prayers.

Some of us put our faith in celebrities, politicians or online influencers. We listen to their opinions on clothing, rights and even morality. When we adopt their line of thinking and behaving, we choose to put our faith in them by changing our thoughts, words, and sometimes actions.

When we say we believe in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but put our musings into anti-Church rhetoric, we risk putting our faith in something other than the Church. I have seen people become confused when they feel like they have put their faith in the Church, but ultimately, they are exercising faith in others.

‘FAITH CRISIS’ IS A MISNOMER

Some call it a faith crisis, as if faith does not work, but I struggle with that expression. In reality, their faith is working. Their faith is working because they are receiving the rewards of what their new mentors have to offer. The only “crisis” is a misunderstanding of whom they are exercising faith in.

If we stop studying the word of God and begin studying the CES letter, we have simply chosen to exercise faith in its author. To me, those rewards most often appear to be frustration, confusion and even anger. But everyone has agency, and I respect that.

To be honest, had I put my faith in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints alone, I am not sure I would have made it back to this pulpit. It is the Church that God has entrusted with the Priesthood authority and the vital eternal ordinances, but some of its members shunned me. Some spread rumors about me. I even had leaders say some things that I would never repeat to the general public.

TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR OUR FAITH

When our faith in the process of flipping a switch is not rewarded with light in the room, we start to problem-solve to reach our desired result. Which of the possible reasons is making the light not work? When we find out, we take corrective action. Changing the bulb or checking the breaker panel may restore our confidence in the system and cause us less stress the next time it does not work as expected.

When we put our faith in the Church and things don’t turn out as we plan, we need to follow the same pattern. Is our disappointment in Jesus Christ, or a person? Are we being unfair in judging people of another era against our current understanding? Re-evaluating where our faith is focused can reconnect us with the peace the Spirit offers.

President Nelson taught in the October 2018 General Conference that Gospel understanding is our responsibility. We heard the phrase “Home-centred and Church-supported”. That proved prophetic in the ensuing pandemic, but it became even more real for me as I realized that if I was going to survive with my testimony intact, I was going to have to be very cautious of where I put my faith and how I chose to nurture it.

LOOKING TO CHRIST

I chose to lean into Heavenly Father, and in the process, I came to know Jesus Christ far better than I ever did as a Bishop. It became easier to push past the shunning, the hurt and the judgment I was feeling in the Church when I put all my faith in Christ and worked on my own growth.

• When something hurt, I thought of how He was treated.

• When I felt alone, I knew He had been there/done that.

• When something happened at Church that frustrated me, I looked to Him to help me understand another’s point of view.

• I found that seeing things through His eyes helped me understand the relationships between Him, His Church, and the people in it, including myself.

A trial of faith is not a “faith crisis,” and it is something we all will experience.

It was a trial of my faith when answers and understanding didn’t come as quickly and plainly as I wanted, or when things did not make sense. I had to stick with the Savior and not turn to the left or the right. If I kept my focus and faith in Christ, it was easier not to focus on the frustrations of Church culture or be distracted by people telling me I should go try the things of the world. I had faith that I could expect the comfort of the Holy Ghost and the guidance of Jesus Christ.

And it worked.

CHRIST USED MY FRIENDS

I chose to build a small support group of friends whom I could trust to help me work through the experiences that would not lead me astray. Confidants who were grounded solidly in the Gospel.

Then one Sunday afternoon, another friend who lived 12 hours away and with whom I spoke infrequently called and said, “What is going on with you? Why will the Spirit not let you out of my head?”. In that moment, I realized I could say “I’m fine,” and keep it light, or I could accept that God had prompted him, and there must be a reason. So I swallowed my pride, yet again, and let him in on my situation. It turned out God was right, and that man helped God deliver many answers to my prayers.

One of those men called me every weekday morning for a year just to chat about anything from the truck he was restoring to discussing how the Church and the Gospel relate to each other. As a little time passed, the Lord brought more people in at key times who helped my repentance process. And then He gave me the most Christlike Stake President.

I want to highlight to you young people that if you want answers to prayers, they will come most frequently through people Christ can influence – the more you surround yourself with people who can be guided by Christ, the more God can answer your prayers. The more you seek to have the Spirit in your life, the more you will recognize those answers as they come.

To you who have been assigned a Ministering Sister or Brother, if they reach out to you, it may well be God trying to answer your prayers – even if they don’t know they are. I suggest letting them serve you. They may turn out to be the blessing the Lord knows you need, or were asking for.

Another method for seeing the hand of God in our lives is to pay attention to the good things in life. I started a journal the night I lost my membership, and at the end of each day’s entry, I listed the things I was grateful for that day.

GOD IS GOOD

It did not take long to see that God was blessing me in curious ways.

I was taught by my mother that everything good comes from God. I put faith in my mother’s teaching and looked at everything good in my life as though it came from God, often through others, but sometimes very directly. I refused to blame God for anything negative, ugly, or discouraging. That is simply not His work.

In the Saturday evening session of our recent stake conference, the visiting area authority told a story of hiking up to a summit that had no barriers at the cliff face. He drew an analogy between going out to the dangerous cliff edges and seeking out doubts in our beliefs. He encouraged us not to go near the edge by looking for reasons to doubt. The analogy could also be used with sin. Stay away from sin as best you can.

In his telling of the experience, someone did fall over the lesser cliff, and as he and his family walked back down, they encountered the first responders heading to the rescue.

His analogy was accurate. To avoid heartache, stay away from putting your faith in those who peddle doubt and have no peace to offer you. Stay away from sin for the same reason.

CHRIST WANTS A RELATIONSHIP WITH US

But I testify that if you have fallen off that cliff of doubt or sin, Jesus Christ will come to your assistance the second you sincerely turn to Him.

Repentance is not a four-letter word, it is an opportunity to develop a very personal and rewarding relationship with Heavenly Father through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

I am not saying it will be easy. You may lose some supposed friends in the recovery. You may experience powerful feelings of remorse, shame, confusion and heartache. But Jesus Christ knows those feelings, too. He knows what you feel and how to overcome it. He will come to us at any time, to the base of any painful and lonely cliff we may fall from – the second we call out for Him.

The key is that we exercise our faith in Him and learn how to identify His influence. We must not allow ourselves to get fooled into thinking our faith in some online content or other influence is going to provide the peace only He can give. Our faith will be tested as we consistently strive to follow what we’ve been taught, enduring long enough to see how He answers our prayers and alleviates our struggles. That will be where we find growth and understanding.

I testify that Jesus Christ knows and loves each one of us, regardless of our current level of faithfulness.

He is on the clifftop, blessing the lives of those who are striving to stay away from the edge, but He has just as much – and maybe more – time, love, care and attention for those who fell off the cliff and are doubting, struggling, and in pain. He will send spiritual first responders when others may be walking away.

EXERCISE FAITH!

Christ will come and find us in the dark and confusing corners we no longer want to be in. The moment we turn to Him, He will reveal Himself to us, but we must open the door by exercising faith.

• Faith to pray, and then faith to quietly listen for the answers.

• Faith to seek Him in the scriptures.

• Faith to see that He regularly answers our prayers through the people He can prompt.

• Faith to remain with Him through the confusion we face in relationships, work, and even within the Church, long enough to begin seeing our experiences through His eyes.

• Faith to repent, or in other words, to do our part in building stronger and more productive relationships with Him and others.

• Faith to follow the promptings that open our understanding of His love and purpose.

Jesus Christ will always reward our diligence in exercising faith, even when it is a trial for us to hang on, and all seems futile. Relief will come, and understanding can follow the relief.

I know that. I know Him. I love Him. And for the past 5 years, I have been His favorite. At least it has felt that way.

In the name of my friend and brother, Jesus Christ,

Amen